I definitely don't want him to be my bartender. This is 'Crappy News' for Thursday, September 7th.

Rotorua, New Zealand- A man got drunk last week and forgot what happened to his car. That happens a lot. THIS is the strange part.

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The man woke up from his drunken stupor and reported his car stolen to police. Turns out, he'd actually sold it the night before...so he could buy more booze.

The man purchased the car for $800 checked the registration the next day fearing the vehicle may have been stolen. Police got in touch with him and the original owner telling them to sort it out. [NZ Herald]

We all know drinking and driving is bad. And now we know drinking and selling is, too.

Guangzhou, China- Doctors had to remove a drinking glass lodged in a man's rectum.

Photo via KankaNews

The patient had the cocktail glass stuck in his no-go hole for TWO DAYS before finally going to the hospital. The glass was about three inches tall and three inches in diameter. Doctors initially tried to take out the glass the same way it came in, but were afraid the glass would shatter if they forced it out...so a surgeon had to cut the man open and remove it through his abdomen.

The patient didn't reveal HOW the glass got shoved up there in the first place, but that's not exactly something that happens by accident. [Shanghaiist]

If you get something stuck up there for that long you deserve a trophy...and lots of people laughing at you.

Deerfield Beach, FL- A man was arrested...after HE reported a burglary.

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32-year-old Anthony Black called police Thursday morning claiming that his home alarm had gone off and that he spotted a man jumping over a fence near his house.

Officers saw a broken window in the back of the house so they went inside to see if any burglars were still there. Cops didn't find any suspects--but they DID find a .22 caliber handgun, about $3,000 in cash...and roughly 38 pounds of marijuana. Black now faces weapon and drug charges. [Local 10]

You report a crime at your house, but you don't expect the police to actually go IN your house? I thought weed HELPED your mind??

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