It's a very 'hands-on' approach. This is "Crappy News" for Thursday, January 24th, 2019.

Montreal, Quebec, Canada- A "Festival of Snow" was postponed...because of a snowstorm.

Medioimages

Organizers say the annual event is meant to celebrate snow and the "joys of winter"...but they felt like a major snowstorm, combined with "glacial cold, wind gusts and dangerous roads" was too much for the patrons to handle.

Sunday's temperature in Montreal was -15° Celsius (5° Fahrenheit) with wind chills as low as -29° C (-20° F).

They're hoping to give it another go this weekend when the forecast is more favorable. [CTV News]

Palm Beach County, FL- This man's alibi was truly divine.

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James Mucciaccio was arrested last month after driving his Ferrari into an inlet.

Officers approached Mucciaccio as he was removing items from his car, which was illegally parked on a dock. He then put the car in reverse, backed up, and sped into the small body of water. Mucciaccio was able to get out of the car before it sunk.

When questioned by police, Mucciaccio said, quote, "Jesus told me to drive through a small gate and into a 6-foot window." He added, "Jesus made me the smartest man on earth and it's so hard to have this much responsibility." [WPTV]

I guess the Lord really does work in mysterious ways...

Dublin, Ireland- A man came up with an--innovative--method to cure his back pain.

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The 33-year-old man went to the hospital complaining of severe pain in his lower back. Doctors noticed a rash and swelling around the patient's forearm. The man revealed that he'd been trying to treat the pain by injecting SEMEN into his arm.

It's not clear WHY he thought that was a cure for his back pain--he admitted to the doctors he came up with the cure himself, and he'd been doing it once a month for about a year and a half.

Shockingly...his home remedy didn't work. His "injections" had just collected in his arm into one big mass. And his arm was infected with cellulitis, because his sperm had leaked into his soft tissue.

Doctors say there is no evidence in any medical journal of this "method" being used in the past. [Daily Mail Health]

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