Did this dude never touch the stove when he was a toddler? Here's "Crappy News" for Tuesday, September 11th, 2018.

Syracuse, NY- An attorney was just busted for drunk driving.

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Making matters worse, he used to be known as the "DWI Guy."

Tom Anelli used to be a partner at a law firm ran radio ads promoting his legal services for people who got busted driving when they were drunk or high. He was arrested Friday night following an argument with a woman. Anelli allegedly returned to the scene of the argument in his car when cops sensed alcohol on his breath. He refused a field sobriety test.

His blood-alcohol level was .06, which is under the legal limit for a DWI. But Anelli was charged with a DWAI, or driving while ability impaired. I wonder if there's someone known as "The DWAI Guy" he can call? [CNY Central]

Bolivar, OH- A grocery store worker could face felony charges...for eating on the job.

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An unnamed employee at the Giant Eagle grocery chain spent the past eight years helping herself to up to five slices of ham from the deli counter EVERY DAY, costing the store about $9,200 in lost revenue.

The store's loss prevention manager (who was clearly doing a bang-up job) received a tip that the employee had been sneaking the meat slices for years.

The woman is facing potential felony theft charges, though police are saying those charges are unlikely to stick. [FOX News]

Inman, SC- A man tried to kill himself in a fire...until he got too hot.

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Police and firefighters were called to the scene of a burning house last Thursday.

24-year-old Nathan Lee Smith told investigators that he was mad at the mother of his child and was tired of dealing with her. Smith said he poured gasoline throughout the house, laid down in a bed and lit the fire with the intention of burning himself up along with the house.

Smith said after starting the fire he realized it was very hot and tried to put himself out.

Smith faces a charge of third-degree arson. [WSPA-TV]

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