Don't mess with animals that can kill you...BECAUSE THEY CAN KILL YOU. This is 'Crappy News' for September 19th.

Destin, FL- A man was arrested after stealing someone else's bacon.

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The 28-year-old was at a Waffle House when he purloined the pork from a female customer's plate and ate it right in front of her. When she demanded he replace the bacon, he told her that he needed more food...

The hungry heathen refused to leave and tried fighting with other customers before the cops showed up. He was arrested for disorderly intoxication. [Northwest Florida Daily News]

Not gonna lie...I've probably done that a time or 12 at Waffle House. It's like the best bad food ever. Can we PLEASE get one of these in Iowa? We need one of these in Iowa.

Columbus, OH- Police got quite a show while responding to a break-in.

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A woman called 911 Thursday night to report an unknown man inside her apartment. and found the intruder...well...making himself at home. The suspect, 22-year-old Calvin Lynn, was found lying naked on the couch fondling himself. And cops captured the whole thing on their bodycams.

Lynn was arrested and charged with burglary and public indecency. [NBC 4 - Columbus]

I'm pretty sure that's NOT what those body cameras are meant for...

Coolidge, AZ- A man was hospitalized following a rattlesnake bite.

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48-year-old Victor Pratt was hosting a birthday party a few weeks ago when he spotted the snake in his yard. Pratt decided to show off by GRABBING it and posing for pictures.

Pratt attempted to cook the snake on the grill when he lost his grip and let go of its head. The snake retaliated...by biting him on the face and chest.

Pratt received antivenom at the hospital and was sedated for FIVE days. He's now recovering at home and said he "ain't gonna play with snakes no more." [Arizona Republic]

Anything with venom I'm going to try and AVOID eating.

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