Maybe you should've read the carton first? This is "Crappy News" for Wednesday, May 16th.

Fresno, CA- A burglar broke in...then broke it down.

43-year-old David Seale used copied keys to enter a law office last weekend--and was VERY excited about it.

ginosphotos

Security camera footage shows Seale doing a nine-second "pop and lock" routine once inside. Video also shows Seale entering the building 10 to 15 times throughout the weekend and coming away with a laptop, cash, and a bunch of keys.

Employees say Seale returned with the laptop last Tuesday morning, claiming to have a meeting with one of the attorneys.

Seale was eventually arrested on suspicion of possession of stolen property, providing false information and commercial burglary. The firm says they've already changed the locks on the building and will be increasing security. [YourCentralValley.com]

If you're going to commit a crime...at least do it with some flair.

Saline, MI- A woman was fired after trying to give a co-worker a not-so-fond farewell.

Thinkstock

Officers received a tip that the woman planned to put laxatives in brownies she was bringing to a colleague's goodbye party. The company confiscated the brownies and called police.

The woman initially denied putting laxatives in the brownies. But when police told her the brownies would be forensically-tested for tampering, she admitted to baking in a cube of laxatives.

Co-workers told police that there was tension between the suspect and the departinng employee. No charges were filed. [MLive.com]

Queens, NY- A guy is angry because his ice cream wasn't as unhealthy as he thought.

Halo Top Creamery via Facebook

Jason Berger is suing the makers of Halo Top, accusing them of deceptive marketing. The lawsuit alleges that the diet ice cream brand engaged in "false, deceptive, and misleading" labeling.

Apparently, Berger paid $6.99 for a pint of Halo Top in 2017, was bummed out by its texture, which is firmer and less creamy than traditional ice cream, and didn't realize that it was a "low-calorie" alternative (even though the amount of calories is CLEARLY EMBLAZONED ACROSS THE CENTER OF THE CARTON).

The amount Berger's seeking is unclear. Hopefully it's enough to buy a bridge so he can get over himself. [Thrillist]

So...you are mad that you paid $7 for a pint of ice cream...but not mad that you're paying thousands of dollars for legal fees?

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