Does his insurance also cover friend replacement? This is "Crappy News" for Monday, April 30th.

Des Moines, IA- Drivers may be used to seeing animals crossing the road...just not inflatable ones.

Santje09

Windy conditions caused a giant inflatable duck to become loose and roll into the street early Thursday night.

The duck, known as Quacky, was on display to promote the 11th Annual Duck Dash, a fundraiser for the Youth Emergency Shelter and Services. The Duck Dash will be held on May 5th, when more than 37,000 rubber ducks will be released into the lake at Jordan Creek Town Center. The charity event is expected to raise about $250,000.

Quacky was found about two blocks away and is back in his nest. [Des Moines Register]

Saigon, Vietnam- We have another case of a man putting something somewhere it DEFINITELY doesn't belong.

Thinkstock

A 42-year-old man sought medical attention after complaining of difficulty urinating and pain in his genitals. Turns out, there was a good reason for his troubles--he had a CHOPSTICK lodged in his urethra.

The wooden chopstick didn't show up on any scans, because it wasn't metallic. The man later admitted that a buddy inserted the chopstick up his penis "for fun" while they were "blind drunk" the night before.

The doctor was able to push out the four-inch long chopstick on his own with no need for surgery. The patient was discharged the same day. [The Daily Mail]

I'm in pain just TYPING this.

Moline, IL- A man needs a new car...and probably some new friends.

Getty Images

Two men were driving on Interstate 74 Friday night when the Chevy Camaro they were riding in plunged into the Rock River.

The passenger told police he let his friend test drive his brand new Camaro (first mistake), and couldn't handle its power. The driver lost control of the car and ended up in the river. The two men escaped the sinking car on their own and swam to shore.

A tow truck pulled the Camaro out of the water. The vehicle has been declared a total loss. I'm guessing the friendship has been, too. [WQAD-TV]

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