Mardi Gras Etiquette

People know what Mardi Gras is, but do they know why it exists? Do they know what they are supposed to do on Mardi Gras? This is a just-in-case.

Mardi Gras was created as one final day of gluttony before Ash Wednesday. Ash Wednesday sucks. Ash Wednesday is the beginning of Lent. Lent is the time for people to fast leading up to Easter. You have to give up things for six weeks for Lent. Not things you hate either.

Heathens took Mardi Gras over and now it is YOLO Central. People who don't know what Ash Wednesday is and people who plan on giving up nothing for Lent take full advantage of today. It now involves masks and parades and costumes and debauchery.

Mardi Gras is technically a day, but not to everyone. To some (especially in New Orleans) Mardi Gras lasts weeks, and "Mardi Gras Day" is the final day of indulging to excess before Ash Wednesday. So it's like last call at a bar basically.

"Mardi Gras" translated from French means "Fat Tuesday". Any "Fat Tuesday" reference is a terrible pickup line to use on the plus-sized ladies, just so you know. And if you use the insult "everyday is 'Fat Tuesday' with ___________" then you really don't deserve to have a Valentine this year.

The beads thing is real. Beads for boobs is a binding unwritten ESP contract between those with the beads and those with the boobs. Hey, I didn't write the script. I just read it. Now, who wants some beads?

Everyone automatically associates Mardi Gras with New Orleans, but don't get all Cajun today. It's a religious-based occasion that is done all over the globe. People think of New Orleans because "Mardi Gras" is French and New Orleans is the frat house on the campus of America. But you don't have to eat spicy food, go to Popeye's Chicken, cook up some Zatarain's, listen to jazz music, or any of that stuff. This isn't like St. Patrick's Day, where it is Irish and all the non-Irish have to play along.

What happens on Fat Tuesday doesn't stay on Fat Tuesday. Too much on Tuesday means you'll be paying for it on Wednesday, whether you're into the whole Lent thing or not.

Have a great Mardi Gras!