I could barely play Mario Kart when I was their age. This is "Crappy News" for Monday, October 1st, 2018.

Somerville, ME- A woman's artwork is going viral thanks to her creative uses of a plentiful natural resource.

Getty Images/iStockphoto

57-year-old Mary Winchenbach is using social media to sell figurines, keychains, clocks and other works of art made of...moose poop. Her creations, which she calls "Tirdy Works," gained attention when a video surfaced of Winchenbach selling them at a local fair. She collects the droppings, dries them and paints them with a coating to make them safe.

And in case you were curious...yes, all the poop is locally sourced. Winchenbach said, "we just go out and track the moose and wherever the moose are there going to take a crap." [Lewiston Sun-Journal]

Who wants a stocking stuffer? And speaking of stuffing...

Nashville, TN- A man was busted for hiding counterfeit money...in his butt.

Ingram Publishing

29-year-old Robert Mitchell was pulled over for speeding last Monday, and police asked him to step out of his car. Mitchell refused, turned the car back on and tried to put the vehicle into drive.

Cops were able to stop him. They searched his car and found marijuana, some male enhancement drugs, and five fake $100 bills "concealed between his butt cheeks."

Mitchell was arrested on multiple charges, including resisting arrest. [WKRN-TV]

It may be time to reassess your life choices.

Waterloo- Two pre-teens were arrested for taking an SUV on a joyride.

Thinkstock

A 12-year-old and 11-year-old girl snatched a sport utility vehicle from C&S Car Company early Thursday morning and led police on a short chase. Officers tried to pull over the vehicle near West Sixth and Washington streets. The pursuit ended when the vehicle stopped on LaPorte Road.

Police are still investigating how the children were able to steal the SUV. No injuries were reported. [The Courier]

How does this happen? Like, as a parent, I wouldn't even know what to do. I'd obviously be mad at my kids, but also want to know how they pulled it off. Then I'd ground them until they were 30.

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