Naked Man Arrested For Fondling Himself In The Woods

This guy needs a friend. Or maybe just a long shower. This is "Crappy News" for Friday, September 28th.

Bradenton, FL- Cops were called last weekend...because of back-ne.

According to police, a 75-year-old man and his 55-year-old wife were arguing Saturday night over the husband wanting his wife to pop a pimple on his back.

The couple informed officers that the altercation was "just verbal and never turned violent."

Police could neither confirm nor deny that the pimple got popped. [The Smoking Gun]

When you're married...THIS is the kind of stuff you sign up for. I can't wait.

Venice, Italy- Tourists could soon be fined...for sitting.

The city has become so overwhelmed with visitors that it installed temporary gates at the ends of two bridges to limit the number of tourists in April. Venice also launched the #EnjoyRespectVenezia campaign last summer, which dictates that tourists are welcome but they must follow the city's rules, which include:

No swimming in canals, no riding alongside of bikes, no pausing on bridges, no drawing or painting without a permit, and no standing or laying down on benches.

People in violation of these rules would be subjected to a fine of up to 500 Euros. The idea, proposed by Venice's mayor, will be voted on by the city council next month. [Sky News]

King County, WA- A perv was arrested for pleasuring himself in a public park.

55-year-old Kenton Shaull told police that he just wanted "alone time" in the woods when a man tried to interrupt him.

A witness called 911 to report a naked man fighting someone near a trail.

Officers arrived and found the men in a ditch bloodied and covered in dirt. When police asked Shaull about the fight, he said "He found me with my (expletive) in my hand, jerking off, and kicked my (expletive)."

Cops searched Shaull's bag and found pornographic magazines and some "sexual paraphernalia." He also has a previous arrest for indecent exposure, making this  offense a felony. [Seattle PI]

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