It couldn't have been much easier than this. Here's 'Crappy News' for Wednesday, January 24th, 2018.

Clearwater, FL- A guy robbed a pet shoving live fish DOWN HIS PANTS.

Valengilda - Thinkstock

Security video showed Cruz Garcia, Jr. and his girlfriend entering the pet store on January 9th. The girlfriend distracted the clerk while Garcia got into the tanks and stole some exotic fish. With no realistic place to hide them, he stashed them in his pants.

Garcia put them in plastic bags first. So they weren't just flopping around in his underwear...which is lucky for the fish, I suppose.

The cashier realized what happened when she saw drops of water on the floor next to their tanks. And she was able to get their license plate number before they drove off. Garcia was arrested last week and charged with theft, but the fish were not found. [WFLA-TV]

Honolulu, HI- The state's Governor needs to let someone else handle his social media.

Earlier this month, residents were alerted of a potential nuclear missile attack. Governor David Ige knew within two minutes it was a false alarm. But he couldn't notify anyone on Twitter--because he didn't know his password.

Ige said during Monday's State of the State "I have to confess that I don't know my Twitter account login and passwords...I will be putting that on my phone."
The Hawaii Emergency Management Agency issued the alert at 8:07 a.m. on January 13th. It took another 15 minutes before the state relayed that news on social media. And it took an additional 38 minutes before the false alarm message was sent.
Governor Ige insisted that steps are being taken to prevent a false alarm from happening again. [CNN]

Seriously?! Isn't this what you hire interns for?

Odessa, NE- Authorities brought in more than 100 pounds of weed, and barely had to try.


Police say a package fell from a flatbed trailer on Friday afternoon. And inside that package was a massive stash of marijuana.

One officer recovered the drugs while another tracked down the suspect vehicle. A total of 122 POUNDS of cannabis were seized from the trailer, which had a secret compartment hidden in its undercarriage.

Nebraska State Patrol tweeted photos of the marijuana after it was removed from the trailer. Officers estimated the drugs' street value at about $366,000. 48-year-old Charlie Red and 29-year-old Damaisy Rodriguez were booked for drug trafficking. [UPI]

Why didn't you just hide the weed in the floorboards like a NORMAL person?

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