The phrase 'drunk as a skunk' almost applies. This is 'Crappy News' for Monday, December 4th.

Milwaukee, WI- Two guys got arrested...while showing up for their court date.

Thinkstock

Police say the two men pulled in to the courthouse, drove past a "Do Not Enter" sign and parked in the police chief's reserved spot.

An employee spotted the car and detected the smell of marijuana coming from the vehicle. Officers noticed pot and heroin in plain view on the center console. The 21-and-20-year-old suspects were taken into custody. [FOX 6 - Milwaukee]

Hey...if criminals were smart I wouldn't be able to do this segment every day...

Royal Oak, MI- A man was choked out by a security guard...for trying to pay a parking ticket.

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Anthony Sevy was assessed a $10 parking ticket back in February. As a symbolic protest, Sevy tried to pay for the ticket with rolls of pennies. He was turned away and an officer asked him to go.

As he tried to leave, a court officer grabbed Sevy and began choking him, forcing him to the ground. Sevy passed out and soiled himself. He was charged with obstruction and disturbing the peace. He's filed a lawsuit against the court officers, citing video evidence that the attack was unnecessary and excessive. [FOX 2 - Detroit]

So a clerk has to count some pennies...big deal. Dude paid his fine!

Ft. Walton Beach, FL- An opossum broke into a liquor store and got WASTED.

Emerald Coast Wildlife Refuge via Facebook

The animal found its way inside the store last month, and took advantage of the situation by cracking into a bottle of bourbon.

A store employee found the animal next to the broken and empty bottle and called animal control.

Authorities say the female opossum appeared pale, disoriented and was excessively salivating. The staff pumped the marsupial full of fluids and cared for her as she sobered up. Animal control said the opossum did not appear to have a hangover. She was released back into the wild a few days later. [WFTV.com]

It says a lot about my life when an opossum parties harder than I do...

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