I bet they spend a lot of money on cookies. This is "Crappy News" for Wednesday, July 11th, 2018.

Vancouver, WA- A crook got stuck...in a hilarious place.

Swillklitch

40-year-old Rye Wardlaw broke into a business at a local strip mall early Sunday morning. That business happened to be the Northwest Escape Experience. During the burglary...Wardlaw caused so much damage that he couldn't get out. He broke the knob on the back door of the building, freaked out and called 911.

Wardlaw provided a fake address to police, so they responded to the escape room...and arrested him for second-degree burglary. [KPTV.com]

The bad news is that this guy will never be able to live this down. The good news is that it's an AMAZING endorsement for the business.

Vero Beach, FL- A drunk driver almost found a BRILLIANT loophole.

Thinkstock

69-year-old Earle Stevens was at a McDonald's drive-thru lane late last month when he repeatedly tapped the bumper of the car in front of him. The driver of that car called 911 to report him. Officers noticed Stevens had slurred speech, bloodshot eyes, and smelled of alcohol. They also found a bottle of Jim Beam on the passenger seat.

Stevens acknowledged that he had been drinking...but NOT while he was driving. He explained that he had only taken swigs from the bottle while the car was at stop signs.

Unfortunately for Stevens, that's not actually how things work, so he was arrested for DUI. [The Smoking Gun]

Greenfield, IN- Two women are facing charges for giving their kid marijuana as a reward.

Thinkstock

Police began investigating last month after a dispute between the boy's mother, 36-year-old Melissa Burton, and 36-year-old Susan Glascock. The child tried to intervene when Glascock pushed him to the ground.

The boy told police that the couple provided him marijuana and taught him how to roll joints. He told investigators that Glascock and his mother would give him pot if he "did something good" or "ground him from marijuana" if he misbehaved.

According to police, the boy said they’d given him pot at least 50 times in the last 90 days. Glascock & Burton have been charged with child neglect. [FOX 59 - Indianapolis]

Some EXPERT parenting skills on display.

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