Can you say 'This dude's a creep' five times fast? This is 'Crappy News' for Monday, 12/18/17.

Buffalo, NY- A man pretended to be a cop...just to get a discount on coffee.


48-year-old Mark Stetter went into a Starbucks shop on December 8th, flashed a fake badge and gun, falsely claimed to be a detective asking for a law enforcement discount.

Stetter then went to a different coffee shop, again displayed a fake badge to get inside after it was closed, stating he was a police officer. A Starbucks employee alerted the ACTUAL police, who charged Stetter with impersonating an officer, menacing, and criminal trespassing. [Newser / WIVB]

If he wanted cheap coffee why did he go to Starbucks in the first place?

Newcastle, England- A woman called police because of a statue.

The unidentified woman drove by a park and reported a person sitting on a bench completely still and covered in snow.


An ambulance came by to check it out and quickly realized the person...was actually a statue. How quickly, a report claims the ambulance crew was on the scene "exactly a minute and one second."

The statue, appropriately named "The Lady in the Park," was built to commemorate the women who'd lost husbands, sons and friends during WWI and subsequent conflicts.  [Mashable]

Maybe she could've...I don't know...CHECKED to see if it was an actual person before calling police?

DuPage County, IL- A man was busted for his pervy project.

67-year-old William Winnie was arrested earlier this month for leaving women's panties at a forest preserve.


Police had received reports from people finding the underwear in various places along a nature path. Officials set up trail cameras and spotted Winnie riding his bicycle and picking up some of the underwear.

Winnie said he would routinely find panties hanging from the trees along the path, take them home, place them in the plastic bags and then leave them at the bridge. Winnie reported leaving 15 to 20 pairs over the previous year. He's being charged with obscenity, disorderly conduct and littering. [Chicago Tribune]

What kind of experiment involves scattering women's panties everywhere? Actually, come to think of it, I probably don't want to know.

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