I mean...why not? You've already got the handcuffs. This is "Crappy News" for Friday, April 27th.

England- Schools are--literally--getting with the times.

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Teachers are installing digital clocks in their classrooms...because most teenage students don't know how to read the hour and minute hands on analog clocks.

A former school headmaster says that teachers want their students to feel as relaxed as possible during tests, and having a traditional clock in the room could be a cause of unnecessary stress.

Health officials in England have also said that kids are having difficulty holding PENS AND PENCILS because they've become so reliant on using tablets and phones. [The Telegraph]

Your grumpy uncle is going to LOVE this story. #KidsTheseDays

Philadelphia, PA- Cops cleverly cornered a coyote.

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Officers responded after the animal was reported roaming loose in the streets. The coyote initially sought shelter under a garbage container before being chased by animal control.

The Pennsylvania Game Commission says the coyote seems to be in good health and it will be released safely in a wooded area. [CBS 3 - Philadelphia]

Maybe he saw a roadrunner close by. Or maybe he just wanted a cheese steak? I wouldn't blame him. Come to think of it...now I want a cheese steak.

Neustadt, Germany- Police received quite the odd offer.

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Officers responded a complaint call about two men tying up a naked woman inside an apartment. Police entered the building and probably didn't expect to see what they walked in on.

It WASN'T a sexual assault--the tenant of the apartment was instructing a couple in the art of erotic bondage.

The trio wasn't upset that the cops had interrupted them...in fact, they asked the officers to JOIN IN. You know, turn this three-way into a five-way...they've already got cuffs...it makes perfect sense, right?

The police "politely" declined the offer to participate. At least that's what they put in their report. [DW.com]

That went from being a hell of a night to ONE HELL OF A NIGHT pretty quickly.

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