Seriously? How far up your own a** can you be? This is "Crappy News" for Friday, October 12th, 2018.

Tangalle, Sri Lanka- Some newlyweds got SUPER smashed and bought an--unusual--wedding present.

Sergey Galushko - Thinkstock

Mark Lee & Gina Lyons got married in June 2017 went on their honeymoon last December. On their first night, the couple "took to the beach with several bottles of rum" and got drunk with one of the hotel’s bartenders, who told them that the hotel’s lease was almost up.

And when Gina and Mark found out those payments were around $40,000 total for three years...they BOUGHT the hotel on the spot and signed a new three-year lease.

Once they sobered up, they realized what they'd done...but a deal is a deal.

So they're making the best of it. The Lees put in another $8,000 for some renovations and re-opened the seven-bedroom hotel--now called Lucky Beach Tangalle--in July. [The Takeout]

I've made a few questionable drunk purchases, but most of those involved Taco Bell.

Atlanta, GA- A fast food restaurant is being sued after an employee served a tainted drink.

Getty Images

The Chick-Fil-A employee allegedly poured the customer’s refill from a pitcher filled with cleaning solution--how does that jingle go? "The best part of waking up is Clorox in your cup?"

The victim soon started experiencing intestinal issues and discomfort in her throat.

Chick-Fil-A found video of the incident and offered to pay for the woman’s medical expenses, totaling more than $3,800, but the suit is also seeking damages for the customer’s "mental and physical suffering." [Journal-Constitution]

Wait 'til she finds out they put a Tide Pod in her chicken nuggets.

Minneapolis, MN- A runner's complaint is driving his neighbors nuts.

An anonymous member of a neighborhood Facebook group posted the following complaint about an excessive amount of loose acorns on his block:

"Lately I've noticed that the sidewalks have been LITTERED with acorns. As a competitive barefoot runner, this makes my training sessions very difficult. So this is just a friendly reminder to please keep your sidewalks clear of any acorns or other debris that might injure those whom are active members of the barefoot running community..."

Seriously? What an obnoxious dweeb. And...BAREFOOT running? I was today years old when I learned that this was an actual thing.

Anyway...the post went viral and the guy was quickly ridiculed on social media. The razzing got so bad that the runner reported the entire group TO FACEBOOK for cyberbullying. [Bring Me The News]

If only there was something he could put on his feet to protect himself from all of those acorns.

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