Maybe being single isn't the worst thing for this guy. Check out "Crappy News" for Thursday, May 10th.

Slupca, Poland- A semi truck overturned and spilled 12 tons of chocolate onto a highway.

Thinkstock

The tanker rolled over Wednesday morning and landed on a median, and the wreck blocked traffic on a six-lane highway in both directions. Rescue officials say the liquid chocolate was hardening as it cooled, and massive amounts of hot water were needed to help melt it away.

The driver suffered a broken arm, but no other injuries were reported. [Circa / Washington Post]

You know...if you were REALLY desperate to clean up all that chocolate...you could've save a lot of trouble by just inviting some little kids or pregnant women. They would have gotten rid of it pretty fast.

Tucson, AZ- A woman's rescue effort flew in her face--literally.

Joe Raedle/Getty Images

A woman pulled over Monday night after she spotted an owl in the road. It appeared to be injured, so she placed the dazed bird in her car.

The owl came to, and latched onto the driver and her steering wheel.

The Game and Fish Department suggested that she douse the owl with water. But the owl drank the water and kept its grip on the woman and steering wheel. The owl eventually let go on its own she was able to coax it out if the vehicle. [Arizona Republic]

Paradise Valley, AZ- Let me introduce you to a guy who DEFINITELY needs a wingman.

31-year-old Jacqueline Ades matched with a man on Internet dating site. They went on one date, and let's just say that Jacqueline got attached VERY quickly.

Thinkstock

After that date, Ades began texting the man incessantly, sending him more than 65,000 messages. The victim told police sometimes she would send up to 500 texts a day, including some in which she threatened to kill him and bathe in his blood.

Police say Ades would also go to the victim's house when he wasn't home and would show up at his job claiming to be his wife.

She was arrested Tuesday on charges including threatening, stalking, and harassment. Ades told detectives "she did not want to hurt the victim because she loved him" and  "she threatened him because she did not want him to leave." [AZfamily.com]

Maybe it's best just to lay low for awhile...like, the next 10 years.

Follow Slater on FacebookTwitter and Instagram, and listen live @ Q923.net or with the NEW Q92.3 mobile app!