I don't want to see these movies...but I absolutely want to see his opponent's attack ads. Here's "Crappy News" for Thursday, November 1st.

Walla Walla, WA- City leaders have changed a longstanding noise law.

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The city is now instituting quiet hours. "Unamplified human voices" must no longer exceed 45 decibels between 10:00 p.m. and 7:00 a.m. on weekdays and between 11:00 p.m. and 9:00 a.m. on weekends in residential areas.

The ordinance was passed last Wednesday, a few weeks after the Mayor had complained about several loud and "disruptive" parties in her neighborhood. [Union-Bulletin]

So if you like to have have loud sex...Walla Walla probably isn't the place for you.

Evansville, IN- A man went to police...to complain about his drug dealer.

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62-year-old Kenneth Woods told cops that he'd bought some crack cocaine on credit from a female dealer and her significant other. Well, Kenneth hasn't paid up...he owes the couple $400, so they're threatening to vandalize his car and shoot him.

The police department took down his complaint. There's no word if they've busted the dealer or whether they're going to bust Kenneth, too. [The Smoking Gun]

Apparently it never dawned on him that complaining about your crack dealer means you're admitting you have a crack dealer.

Derry, NH- A legislator is accused of assaulting a porn producer.

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58-year-old Frank Sapareto is being sued by adult film producer Jonathan Carter. Carter claims that he and Sapareto made a deal to produce X-rated movies...with Sapareto STARRING in them.

He allegedly flew to California this summer to shoot some scenes. Sapareto was allegedly unsatisfied with them, so he punched Carter in the head, causing a concussion.

Sapareto says the whole thing is an extortion attempt and has denied knowing anything about the movies, but Carter has released emails and video clips verifying Sapareto's involvement.

Oh, by the way, Sapareto is a State Representative running for re-election next week. Which I'm sure has NOTHING to do with his denial. [Concord Monitor]

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