Stranded Driver Survives On Taco Sauce For 5 Days

He was definitely thinking outside the bun. This is "Crappy News" for Monday, March 4th, 2019.

Hackensack, NJ- A woman accidentally drove into an auto parts store.

A black SUV blasted through the front entrance of an AutoZone store Tuesday night, shattering windows, taking down shelves and destroying merchandise.

The 52-year-old driver told police that she was pulling into the parking lot qround 9:00 p.m. when she mistakenly hit the gas pedal instead the brake.

Fortunately, no one was hurt in the crash, but she did quite a bit of damage inside the store. Police are still investigating. [NJ.com]

She may have wrecked her car, but on the bright side...she didn't have to go very far to fix it.

Orlando, FL- The world's #1-ranked bridge player has been suspended for cheating...just not the kind you might suspect.

49-year-old Geir Helgemo was busted after testing positive for synthetic testosterone and clomifene, a treatment for infertility in women.

The World Bridge Federation (that's an actual thing) drug policy is in line with that of the World Anti-Doping Agency, which bans performance-enhancing drugs as well as substances like Ritalin.

Helgemo's suspension ends in November. [Bloomberg]

I don't know what's more surprising: that the world's top bridge player failed a drug test or that the world's top bridge player wasn't a 75-year-old woman.

Deschutes County, OR- A man survived being trapped in the snow...thanks to taco sauce.

36-year-old Jeremy Taylor told investigators that he had gone up a service road last Sunday when his SUV got stuck in the snow.

On Thursday, the sheriff's office released a missing person report for Taylor, and a snowmobiler found him on Friday.

Taylor said he was unable to get his SUV out of the snow and tried walking to find shelter before returning to the car. Taylor told police he and his dog would stay warm by periodically turning on the vehicle, and he'd been subsisting on leftover taco sauce packets for FIVE DAYS.

Taylor went on Facebook to thank friends and family for their concerns and to say that "Taco Bell fire sauce saves lives." [BuzzFeed News]

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