If I had to deal with rowdy kids all day, I'd probably need a drink, too. This is "Crappy News" for Monday, October 29th, 2018.

Ann Arbor, MI- A gymnastics coach has resigned after getting caught in a--compromising--position.

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39-year-old Scott Vetere is an assistant coach at the University of Michigan. Vetere was arrested earlier this month after police found him and an 18-year-old female gymnast naked in the back seat of a car outside of an apartment complex.

Vetere and the student have been charged with public indecency and could face a $500 fine and up to 90 days in jail.

University athletic department policy forbids coaches from having romantic relationships with student-athletes.

During his time at Michigan, Vetere was Big Ten Gymnast of the Year and part of their 1999 National championship team. He coached six NCAA champions, 16 conference champions, 55 All-Americans and one Olympian. And nobody is going to remember any of that. [Detroit Free Press]

Fremont, NH- A woman was almost taken out...by a turkey.

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24-year-old Jess Downing was riding her motorcycle to work earlier this month when she collided with a turkey in mid-flight.

Downing says she didn't have much time to react when saw the turkey leap off a stone wall and fly into her. Downing skidded off the bike and rolled on the ground, resulting in scrapes on her leg and a broken right hand.

The turkey, unfortunately, did not survive the impact. Downing kept the tail and a wing and plans to make a turkey tail mount as a souvenir. [Union Leader]

Probably not the way she planned on turkey hunting.

Deville, LA- An elementary school teacher was busted for drinking on the job.

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43-year-old Shannon Beran was reportedly acting erratically during car pick-up duty on Wednesday. Witnesses said she was moving "slowly and awkwardly."

Beran became defensive and tried to leave when she was confronted by school administrators. A "partially consumed" bag of wine was found in Beran's classroom.

She has been charged with possession of alcohol on public school property. [WDSU-TV]

All things considered, I'd probably need booze if I were a teacher.

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