Yes...you can probably figure out how it got there. This is "Crappy News" for Tuesday, July 10th.

Citrus Heights, CA- A drunk driver ran back to his burning car to light a cigarette.

henrischmit

25-year-old Robert Quigley was driving drunk on Sunday when he rear-ended an SUV and his car caught on fire. At the time of the crash, Quigley was driving around 75-to-80 mph.

A squad car saw Quigley's car burst into flames and rushed to the scene. The officer noticed Quigley switching seats with a female passenger, and Quigley later admitted that he was the driver. After both were removed from the vehicle, Quigley ran back to it...so he could use the flames to light a cigarette.

Police arrested him--for his second DUI in less than a week. [FOX 40 - Sacramento]

Cape Canaveral, FL- This isn't exactly my idea of quality family time.

Police received a call late last month about a woman performing "oral favors" on a man at a local park.

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Officers got there and found 65-year-old Robert Spiess sitting on a bench with his belt undone and shorts unzipped, while 39-year-old Mandi Falconer was on the ground with her hands on his penis.

If you're thinking "Hey, this lady has some daddy issues," you're probably correct...because Falconer told the cops that Spiess was her STEPFATHER.

Spiess & Falconer were both arrested and charged with lewd & lascivious conduct. [Brevard Times]

I'm sure their 4th of July barbecue was QUITE interesting. And speaking of weird sexual things...

Linkou, China- A teenager was hospitalized after getting a smartphone cord caught in his BLADDER.

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The "curious" 13-year-old patient reportedly inserted eight inches of the USB charging cable into his urethra before realizing he couldn't get it back out. The boy's parents took him to the hospital, where medics unsuccessfully tried to remove the cord using lubrication.

He was transferred to a children's hospital, where surgeons cut into his bladder, snipped the tangled section and removed the remaining cord...the same way it went in. The boy was discharged from the hospital last week. [Mirror]

I know kids love technology, but...wow.

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