Searching for items on Craigslist can be pretty risky. You typically don't really know what you're going to get. In this case, though, things are pretty clear.

This listing from Sioux City goes into amazing, legendary detail about why you should be the one to drive home this sweet, sweet, ride. Here are some highlights...

Selling my 1993 Geo Tracker. Bought this bitchin' ride last summer, got so much ass that i now have a kid. You put the nineties into a blender and this pink pistol will come out in all of its rusty glory. Roll up to any party in this rig, you can kiss your virginity goodbye.

5 speed manual, so when you're cranking up your favorite Travis Tritt song on the Bluetooth radio (with custom speakers) you'll have no problems dropping the hammer from 4 to 5 and letting your mullet fly. 97k miles so plan on this chick magnet outliving you. $1000 OBO, but you really can't put a price on feeling like Dale Jr in Daytona.

If you are an average looking dude with a s----y personality, this is the car that will put you over the top.

Craigslist Sioux City

I am in need of a new car...I think I'm convinced. Check out the full listing here.