This Threesome Went Horribly, Horribly Wrong

Reality is NEVER as good as the fantasy. This is "Crappy News" for Tuesday, November 6th, 2018.

Pierre Part, LA- This drunk driver didn't make the grade.

Police got a call on Monday about a dangerous driver on the highway. They wound up following the car...all the way to an elementary school parking lot.

And the woman driving was 49-year-old Rachel Turley, who's the assistant principal at that school. Even worse...Monday was the beginning of the school's Alcohol Awareness Week.

Authorities said Turley's blood alcohol content was .224--nearly three times the legal limit. She was taken to jail for driving while intoxicated and careless operation. [WBRZ-TV]

Just a reminder...these are some of the people shaping our kids' minds...

Modena, Italy- A domestic disturbance started...because of pasta sauce.

A 48-year-old woman has been fined $1,170 after threatening to kill her 69-year-old mother with a kitchen knife. The woman objected to her mother making a bolognese sauce in her presence. The daughter is vegan, while her mom obviously isn't.

The victim's attorneys said "irreconcilable conflicts" over the different food cultures caused their mother-daughter relationship to crumble. The daughter was so annoyed by the simmering sauce that she threatened to stab her mom in the stomach. [The Telegraph]

I knew Italians were passionate about food, but this seems a bit too hostile. And speaking of hostile...

Hanahan, SC- A threesome came to an abrupt end.

Police responded to a 911 call at an apartment complex last month. At the scene, cops found a "naked white female on hands and knees" crawling into a hallway.

31-year-old Steven Norton told cops that he and another man were having sex with 26-year-old Cameo Luchka when she "started passing out from drug use." Norton said that he then asked Luchka to leave his apartment. She refused, began throwing things at Norton, and threatened to bite off his penis.

Luchka admitted that she had used heroin and methamphetamine earlier that night. Police tried to place her on a gurney, but Luchka "growled and hissed" at officers. She eventually had to be subdued with a taser.

Norton declined pressing charges since Luchka was taken to the hospital. Police are still investigating. [The Smoking Gun]

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