Truck Spills 60,000 Pounds Of Beer Onto Highway

This would never have happened in Iowa. Just sayin'. This is Crappy News for Thursday, March 8th.

Alexandria, VA- A drunk guy got run over...by his own vehicle.

Cops attempted to pull over 30-year-old Isaac Bonsu for an equipment violation early Sunday morning. The officer turned on his lights, but Bonsu kept going.

Eventually, he got out his car and attempted to run away...but he forgot to put the car in park. He ran directly in front of his moving vehicle, which rolled into him.

Fairfax County Police tweeted the officer's dash-cam video of the arrest. And, well, it's pretty damn funny. Bonsu faces charges of DWI, hit and run, driving with an open container and possession of marijuana. [Washington Post]

Albuquerque, NM- A woman had a--creative--excuse for failing a drug test.

34-year-old Ginger Sharpe was subjected to drug testing as part of her probation. And when she tested positive for meth last month, she tried to convince her probation officer that it was MEDICINAL meth. Sharpe allegedly told the officer that she had a prescription for it, and even brought a pill bottle that read "methamphetamine 5 mg tablets."

Sharpe ALREADY faced two counts of forgery prior to this (hence the probation), and has now also been charged with identity theft, because the falsified label on the bottle had her real doctor's name on it. [FOX 6 - Albuquerque]

I don't know if you have to be on drugs to come up with an idea like this. But you definitely need to be on drugs to think it would work...

Crestview, FL- This is potentially bad news for any Spring Breakers...

A tractor-trailer carrying a shipment of Busch beer spilled its cargo onto the interstate Wednesday night.

Highway Patrol said 44-year-old Michael Powell failed to maintain his lane, resulting in the truck running onto the shoulder before overturning. As a result, 60,000 pounds of beer was ejected from the trailer.

Police posted photos of the casualties on Facebook, one of which you can view here. Powell didn't suffer any injuries. but he was cited for careless driving. [Time]

This would never have happened in Iowa. Nobody here would've let all that Busch Light go to waste.