Any volunteers to help clean this up? Here's "Crappy News" for Wednesday, January 16th, 2019.

Tulsa, OK- A man walked into a courthouse...without pants.

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Police say the suspect, Brian Johnson, walked into the building exposed from the waist down.

Surveillance video shows Johnson entering the Tulsa County Courthouse last Monday wearing only a blue t-shirt, black shoes and a black leather harness without any pants or underwear on.

After being arrested Johnson admitted that he showed up to the courthouse bottomless...on a dare. [KJRH-TV]

Philadelphia, PA- Some sports fans handle defeat better than others.

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Police spoke to a woman Sunday night who said she'd gotten into a fight with her girlfriend inside their hotel room. Investigators could see blood on the woman’s left ear and a cut on her nose and left cheek.

She told police that her girlfriend, 31-year-old Kirsten Gaskins, had been drinking and was furious about the Eagles' playoff loss to the New Orleans Saints earlier that night. The woman claims that Gaskins knocked her to the floor and began hitting her in the face.

Gaskins then allegedly threatened to kill the victim's dog if she left the room. Police went to the hotel room and found a white Pomeranian inside the microwave. It wasn't turned on and the dog was unharmed.

Gaskins was arrested and charged with simple assault, harassment, and cruelty to animals. [The Morning Call]

Flagstaff, AZ- This made the morning commute a little stickier than normal.

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The Arizona Dept. of Public Safety responded to a crash involving an overturned tanker truck on Monday.

The truck was carrying some 3,500 gallons of liquid chocolate when it was involved in an accident, causing the vehicle to roll over and dump its sweet cargo onto the highway.

Authorities spent nearly four hours cleaning up the "river of chocolate" from the Interstate. I bet that was a pretty sweet job. [UPI]

If you wanted to get traffic moving faster, you should have brought out some pregnant women. It would've taken about half the time. Shoot, send ME out there. I'd use my hands as a shovel.

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