BREAKING NEWS: This lady is a kook. Here's "Crappy News" for Tuesday, September 4th, 2018.

Kuwait- A fish market was shut down because of fraudulent freshness.

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The fishmonger was forced to close after its owners were caught putting plastic eyes on dead fish to make them appear fresher. A video shared on social media shows a customer removing a "googly" eye from one of the fish.

It's not clear if the store was shut down for scamming people, or if it was a food safety concern. But some people just respect the creativity, and don't think they should be in trouble. Competitors have responded by updating their advertising with the tagline: "without cosmetics enhancements" and "without coloured lenses." [SBS News]

Talk about a full-scale scam...

St. Lucie County, FL- A man was arrested for pulling a prank on his girlfriend...that he should've grown out of in middle school.

Hemera Technologies

47-year-old Joseph Sireci was drunk on the living room floor when his girlfriend came home from work on the night of August 15th. The woman told police that she knew he was drunk when he called her at work and told her to order him a pizza. According to police, Sireci continued to drink once his girlfriend got home and was belligerent towards her.

Sireci allegedly grabbed her arm and gave her a "wet willy" by sticking his finger in her ear. His girlfriend's daughter confirmed this to police. Sireci was charged with second-degree battery. [Treasure Coast Palm]

If you're still giving wet willies at 47, you have other problems we need to address.

Charleston, WV- This is something you usually hear about during the news...not from the people that give you the news.

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26-year-old Chelsea Ambriz is a meteorologist for a local TV station in Charleston. Her co-worker, Erica Bivens, is one of the news anchors. The two were out at a bar over the weekend when Bivens accused Ambriz of flirting with her husband.

The argument got physical and Ambriz knocked Bivens to the ground, rupturing her eardrum and fracturing her skull.

Neither of them has been on the air since this all went down; Ambriz was charged with battery and could face up to a year in jail. [Charleston Gazette-Mail]

The forecast for her future employment looks pretty cloudy.

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