Just another excuse for college kids to take laundry home to their parents'. This is (literally) 'Crappy News' for Monday, October 30th.

LaPorte, IN- A man picked the wrong car to race against.

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40-year-old Eugene Thome was out driving his Dodge Charger Saturday night when he spotted another person in the same car.

Thome took it upon himself to challenge the other driver to a race. It didn't take him long to realize that the other Charger was an unmarked police car. Thome had accelerated rapidly to more than 70 miles per hour and was weaving between lanes when the officer activated his police lights. Thome pulled into a parking lot and tried to escape on foot before being caught.

Prior to his arrest, Thome had a felony warrant for being a habitual traffic offender. Imagine that. [Michigan City News-Dispatch]

He wasn't fast...but I'm sure he was furious.

Marshfield, WI- A man tried to make the best of a bad situation.

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38-year-old Jeremy Van Ert went to a Kwik Trip store Tuesday night and accidentally got locked inside of the beer cooler. So...he did what most of us would and cracked open some cold ones. When employees found Van Ert more than six hours later, he'd consumed an 18-ounce can of Icehouse along with three cans of Four Loko. Van Ert then took off when employees finally opened the cooler.

And...the whole ordeal didn't even need to happen. The cooler had a glass door and Van Ert could have simply banged on the door for someone to let him out. He was charged with retail theft. [Journal Sentinel]

Hey...when life hands you free beer...

And now...for some actual crappy news:

Carbondale, IL- A college campus is being victimized by a serial...pooper.

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Several students at Southern Illinois University have lodged complaints after finding feces on clothing they'd left in dorm washing machines.

Sophomore Khiyah Ransom believes the fecal fiend strikes when residents take too long to get their clothes out of the washers. Residents have confirmed eight "excrement encounters" in laundry rooms since the start of the 2016 school year.

The university does not have security cameras in the laundry area, so it's likely that the dookie delinquent will keep at it until caught in the act. [Daily Egyptian]

You never have to worry about Mom doing that to your clothes...

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