I have a friend that refuses to swim at public pools because he thinks the people there are gross. Can't really argue with him in this case. Here's "Crappy News" for Thursday, May 31st.

Hawaii- Scientists took time from trying to save people's lives to answer a troll on social media.

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The U.S. Geological Survey responded to a Twitter user that had asked if it was okay to toast marshmallows over volcanic vents. The USGS replied (as politely as possible) that it was not a good idea...and that chemicals such as sulfur dioxide or hydrogen sulfide wouldn't exactly be pleasant to taste.

The eruption of the Kilauea volcano has wreaked havoc in Hawaii for the past several weeks, forcing thousands of residents to evacuate. The USGS has also issued warnings that more eruptions are likely or suspected. [Time]

People are dying, homes are being destroyed, and this jackass is worried about making s'mores.

Slidell, LA- A woman scored a six-figure job...and went to jail because of it.

Back in 2015, 41-year-old Cindy White landed a pretty cushy Human Resources job...that she wasn't actually qualified for.

JaggedPixels

White found a woman on LinkedIn with a similar name, copied her entire résumé, passed it off as her own...and even negotiated a starting salary of $95,000.

Interestingly, White was good enough at the job to get promoted five months later and receive a $10,000 pay raise. But the company eventually figured out what happened and White got arrested for fraud.

In addition to the bogus résumé, White had also stolen the woman's Social Security number. A judge just sentenced White to TEN YEARS in prison for identity theft. At least three other companies have come forward accusing her of similar scams. [WGNO-TV]

Embellishing on your résumé isn't that uncommon...but you should probably keep it to a minimum.

Somewhere In Florida- A viral video shows a woman shamelessly shaving her legs at a hotel pool.

If you get the creeps about going to a public pool...this DEFINITELY isn't going to help with that.

The woman was seen sitting on the ledge of a crowded pool wading her feet in the water. But she ALSO decided that it would be a good time to shave her legs...and use the pool water to rinse her razor.

Oddly, nobody seemed to notice, except for one savvy spectator who posted a video online. The clip has been upvoted more than 55,000 times on Reddit, and can be found, appropriately enough, in the "Trashy" section.

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