How quickly could I move out? This is "Crappy News" for Thursday, September 20th, 2018.

Oklahoma City, OK- This dude REALLY couldn't take a hint.

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53-year-old Kenneth Lee helped out a woman whose car broke down outside a Walgreens last Wednesday. Lee & the woman exchanged telephone numbers and Lee gave her $20.

Later that day, Lee texted her asking for pictures of her LADY PARTS. She declined, so Lee started sending threatening text messages, including one that said he'd blow up her apartment building and that she should "make sure the children weren’t there."

The victim turned the messages in to the police, and Lee was arrested Thursday on multiple charges, including making a bomb threat. [The Oklahoman]

South Lake Tahoe, CA- A man broke into home last week with a bizarre weapon in hand.

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41-year-old William Best went to a woman's home to confront her on September 10th, after she'd had an argument with his girlfriend. Best broke into the victim's home armed with...a potato.

According to police, Best had carved the victim's initials into the spud and threatened her multiple times. Best told authorities that he brought the potato with him to "increase his punching power."

He's been convicted of burglary and sentenced to at least one year in jail. [CBS 13 - Sacramento]

Aren't there vegetables that are more threatening? Asparagus? Artichokes?

Paulding County, GA- A woman has been sharing her home with some disgusting hideous nightmarish unwanted guests.

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Nicole Photianos recently moved into a new house, and discovered 30 brown recluse spiders hiding inside her walls.

She and her husband contacted the family that sold them the house, and they said they never had any spider problems for the 10 years they lived there (yeah, sure, k). She believes they became active after their home sat vacant for several months and some mold work was done.

Photianos joked that she should "just burn it down." But seriously...you should just burn it down. [WSB-TV]

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