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Woman Gets Arrested, Wraps Herself In Toilet Paper

This only the #2 dumbest thing she did last week. Here’s ‘Crappy News’ for Monday, August 28th…

Comstock
Comstock

Shreveport, LA- A woman has been arrested after stealing 18 bottles of booze from a liquor store last week.

Security cameras caught Sekonie Jones stashing bottles in her purse, in her bra, and down her pants. Jones turned herself in Thursday morning and faces misdemeanor theft charges. [CBS 12]

Isn’t the point of shoplifting to make it look like you didn’t steal anything? Someone’s not going to notice the giant bottle-shaped bulge in your sweat pants??

Mesa County, CO- A couple picked a really bad time for an early driving lesson…

Mesa County (CO) Sheriff's Office
Mesa County (CO) Sheriff’s Office

Police pulled over a vehicle driving erratically on the highway last Tuesday.

22-year-old German Michel-Arreola and 19-year-old Irene Michel-Arreola were in the vehicle, along with a 13-year-old boy. And for some reason, the kid was driving.

German and Irene agreed to let the cops search their car.  And it turned out they were hauling 25 pounds of crystal meth. All three of them have been charged with manufacturing, possession, and distribution of methamphetamine. The 13-year-old was also cited for driving without a license. [FOX 31 – Denver]

The kid is already going down for drug trafficking, but please make sure to remember that VITALLY important traffic ticket…

Franklin, NH- A woman wrapped herself in toilet paper for her mugshot.

toilet paper
Thinkstock

35-year-old Melissa Natal was in jail on a variety of charges and complaining that her holding cell was too cold. When officers got her to take her booking  photo, Natal was draped in TP.

The picture of Natal in her very comfy one-ply sweater has gone viral, making an otherwise mundane arrest into national news. [The Smoking Gun]

At least she’ll be good to go when she sits on her jail cell toilet…

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