Clearly a VERY healthy relationship. This is "Crappy News" for Thursday, 1/17/2019.

Detroit, MI- Police are searching for a guy who angrily shot up a Domino's Pizza.

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A store employee said the suspect was furious that his order wasn't ready when he arrived to pick it up late Tuesday night.

The man then fired several shots hitting the front door and glass windows.

Police have surveillance video of the shooting but have yet to identify the suspect. [WXYZ-TV]

Maybe he just really wanted pineapple on his pizza? We may never know for sure.

South Euclid, OH- An elderly man lodged and unusual complaint with police.

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79-year-old William Batts paid for some prostitutes to come to his house earlier this month. Well...after they wrapped things up with him, he called 911 to report a ROBBERY.

Batts said the hookers, quote, "failed to meet his expectations" but they still took $500 from his wallet. Batts described the suspects as "African American females, approximately 40 years old, and dressed all in black."

Police explained that his unsatisfactory experience didn't constitute an ACTUAL robbery attempt. Batts was not charged. [The Smoking Gun]

They probably felt bad enough for him.

Stuart, FL- This woman started her new year with a bang...

Getty Images/iStockphoto

26-year-old Erica Loucks had a New Year's Eve threesome with a guy and another woman.

Nothing wrong with that...except the guy WASN'T her boyfriend.

He told police that Loucks was out all night drinking and using drugs. The woman Loucks brought home told investigators Loucks asked the boyfriend to leave several times. She said the boyfriend called Loucks “a piece of (poop).”

He reportedly confronted Loucks, who slapped and kicked him. She has been charged with battery. [Treasure Coast Palm]

I don't think ANY amount of therapy can help these two.

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