I have sooooooo many questions. This is "Crappy News" for Thursday, October 18th, 2018.

Davis, CA- This is a Halloween recipe you ought to stay away from...

Sally Scott - Thinkstock

Several students at Da Vinci Charter Academy may have eaten cookies...made with CREMATED HUMAN REMAINS.

Students reported that a batch of sugar cookies was rumored to include the ashes of one of the suspect’s grandparents.

The school's principal sent a letter to parents to assure them that "there is no health risk to our campus or to any one of our students."

Police say the student brought the cookies to campus and gave them to at least nine students. Officers are still investigating and trying to determine if charges would be filed. [CBS Sacramento]

I hope this is just a dumb Halloween prank.

West Monroe, LA- A routine inspection led to the discovery of child porn.

iStock

Workers at an apartment complex were inspecting a unit's fire extinguishers when they found what appeared to be a slideshow of child pornography displayed on a computer in the living room.

Police located the suspect, James Taylor, at his job, where he admitted to downloading the pictures. He was arrested Friday on 10 counts of possession of child pornography.

Tenants were notified by email three days prior to the inspections--and told that if the fire extinguishers were not outside, employees would go inside to get them. [KNOE-TV]

Not to defend a perv, but he could have kept being a perv if he just checked his email. It's not like he WASN'T using his computer.

Berkshire, U.K.- A woman is paralyzed after falling out of bed during sex.

Thinkstock

46-year-old Claire Busby claims she suffered a severe spine injury while in the throes of passion.

She was kneeling in the middle of the bed performing a sex act when she decided to move position and “swung her legs” from underneath her. The bed gave way and Busby's head hit the floor.

As a result, she's suing the mattress company for at least £1 million, claiming that the "defective state" of the bed contributed to her erotic injuries.

The firm is contesting the case, arguing the bed was properly assembled. [The Punch]

Follow Slater on FacebookTwitter and Instagram, and listen live @ Q923.net or with the Q92.3 mobile app!