How is this even possible? Here's "Crappy News" for Monday, July 9th...

Brentwood, TN- A woman was disturbed by some seriously unwanted houseguests.

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Angela Wright claims she found nearly 50 brown recluse spiders in the bedroom of her apartment. Wright figured it out after being bitten several times in her sleep. She was treated at the doctor's office, but symptoms worsened and she checked herself into the emergency room.

Wright said she couldn't walk and had difficulty swallowing; doctors also said she could have suffered a stroke had she waited longer to go to the hospital.

Wright has asked her apartment complex to break her lease, but the property manager has refused. [NBC 4 - Nashville / UPI]

It's not even worth the hassle. Just get me THE EFF OUT OF THERE.

Albuquerque, NM- A man has been accused of exposing himself at an elementary school.

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Police responded Tuesday morning to a report of a man with his pants down on school grounds. 40-year-old Desiderio Padilla was standing near the playground with his pants around his ankles when cops showed up.

Padilla told police that it was hot and he was merely trying to, quote, "get a breeze." Padilla also admitted to drinking a 24-ounce beer earlier that morning. The officer arrested him and charged him with indecent exposure. No children were present at the time of the incident. [KOB-TV]

Shawano County, WI- A woman was arrested after more than 80 grams of drugs were found inside her body.

39-year-old Jaral McCollum and 20-year-old Desiree Webster were arrested late last month. Corrections officers suspected that Webster had illicit materials hidden inside her--um--lady parts.

WBAY-TV

Webster was taken to a hospital, where a CT scan of her pelvic area revealed something resembling a plastic bag about the size of a fist.

The bag contained 36.67 grams of cocaine, 27.80 grams of synthetic marijuana, 14.72 grams of meth,1.26 grams of pot and six MDMA (ecstasy) pills. In total, Webster had 81.97 grams of drugs in her body.

Webster and McCollum each face multiple counts of drug possession with intent to deliver. [WBAY.com]

This is actually pretty impressive. Stupid, but impressive.

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