I don't know if ANY explanation is good enough. This is "Crappy News" for Thursday, February 14th, 2019.

Texas City, TX- An woman defended herself from a robbery...with a scooter.

The woman and her husband were sitting inside their car in their driveway when two men in a car approached them.

Galveston County (TX) Jail

A man wearing a clown mask got out of the car, walked up to the driver's side of the couple's vehicle and stuck a machete through the car window. The second suspect approached the passenger's side.

The woman was able to fend off the carjackers, by smacking them with her child's baby stroller. The men ran back to their car...but not before the woman used the scooter to smash one of its windows.

The suspects were identified as 32-year-old Luis Jimenez and 35-year-old Jose Lugo. Each was arrested and charged with aggravated robbery. [NBC 2 - Houston]

Hastings, MN- A high school wrestling coach is accused of stealing nearly $14,000 from the district.

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Police say 37-year-old Joshua G. McLay asked administrators at Hastings High School for money to take his coaching staff to out-of-state wrestling clinics--but that no clinics took place.

McLay allegedly used the funds to buy tickets to an Iowa State football game in 2012, a University of Wisconsin game in 2013, a 2014 Minnesota game, and a 2018 Notre Dame game.

The investigation also showed several other trips were either charged by McLay to a school district credit card or paid by him and he was later reimbursed.

He's been charged with eight counts of embezzlement of public funds and eight counts of theft. [TwinCities.com]

EXACTLY the person you'd want shaping young people's minds. And speaking of excellent role models...

Pawtucket, RI- A cop is on leave after some very--questionable--behavior.

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An unnamed Boston police officer got himself into trouble last week when he hired two prostitutes he found on Instagram. The officer, 22-year-old Melissa Dacier and 25-year-old Neish Rivera went bar-hopping, then visitied a strip club, before going back to his hotel room.

At some point, the ladies stole the officer's service weapon--a black, .40-caliber Glock handgun. The women dropped off the gun anonymously the next day, but police were able to track them down and arrest them.

As for the cop? He's been put on paid administrative leave while the department investigates. [Boston Herald]

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