CRAPPY NEWS – 3/3/17
A vegan has a confusing case of road rage, a creeper has a pretty lame excuse, and a man with a very appropriate name gets caught with his pants down. TGIF!
Athens, GA: A woman has been arrested after ramming a truck off the highway.
26-year-old Judith Armstrong intentionally crashed her car into a truck that was hauling chickens. When the truck slowed down, she drove into it again, which led HER to spin out. Armstrong then left the scene, but didn't realize her license plate had fallen off, so police ran the number and tracked her down.
Armstrong admitted that she hit the truck because she's VEGAN and didn't like that the chickens were on their way to being slaughtered. She was charged with hit-and-run, obstruction, and DUI. [Online Athens]
She cares about animal welfare...so she tries to smash a truck CARRYING animals. Makes total sense.
Jacksonville, FL: A local perv was arrested following a failed panty raid.
A woman confronted 56-year-old Nicolas Rojas after she noticed him in her garage trying to steal hear underwear.
When Rojas got caught, he told the woman he was looking for LEMONS. He later confessed to taking the undergarments but didn't return them. Cops have charged him with burglary. [CBS 47 - Jacksonville]
I mean, this guy's totally creepy, but why are you keeping your panties in the garage to start with??
Austin, TX: A man is in jail after exposing himself at McDonald's.
Police received a call last month about a man flashing his privates inside the restaurant. When authorities arrived, they found the suspect outside at a bus stop with his pants around his ankles.
When police tried to arrest him, the man elbowed a cop in the face and ran away. Officers unsuccessfully tried to subdue him with pepper spray AND a taser before he finally fell down and was handcuffed. The suspect was later identified as 38-year-old Alexis PICKLES.
Yep, the guy's last name is PICKLES. And his actual pickle was on full display.
He could now be facing 10 YEARS in prison for assaulting an officer. [KEYE-TV]
I didn't think I could like pickles any less than I already did, so thanks for that...