Man Assaults Wife With Taco Bell Burrito

What a waste of perfectly mediocre fast food. This is "Crappy News" for Wednesday, January 30th, 2019.

Boulder, CO- Cops are looking for a man who reportedly stole back his own pets.

The man went to the local Humane Society last Wednesday to claim his two ferrets, which had been confiscated after the man was arrested.

Staff allowed him to SEE the ferrets, but refused to let him take them home because he couldn't pay the fee to reclaim them.

The man then grabbed the ferrets, shoved an employee to the ground, and fled. Police haven't found him--or his furry friends--and say he could be up for robbery charges. [Daily Camera]

Dover, DE- Police were called to Target store Saturday after a report of a man fondling himself inside a fitting room.

Surveillance video identified the suspect as 23-year-old Lewis Foreman. When police went to his house to bust him . . . they found he was running a drug dealing operation. Authorities recovered almost nine pounds of marijuana inside, plus scales, baggies, and about $4,000 in cash.

Two women were also arrested at the home. A three-year-old was also found inside the house and was placed in the care of a family member.

Foreman was arrested for drug possession, intent to deliver, endangering the welfare of a child, AND indecent exposure. [Delaware Online]

Parrish, FL- A man started a food fight...with his wife.

49-year-old Victor Fosser got into a dispute with his wife Sunday afternoon. She'd apparently had a family issue and was seeking comfort from her husband. Instead...he opted to go to Taco Bell.

When he returned home, Fosser attempted to give his wife a burrito, holding it in front of her face while making fun of her for being upset. The woman then grabbed the burrito and threw it on the floor.

Police say Parrish picked up the rest of the burritos and smashed them in her face, causing some to go up into her nose. He's being held on a count of misdemeanor domestic battery. [The Smoking Gun]

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