I think he took the expression A BIT too literally. This is "Crappy News" for Tuesday, January 15th.

Portage, IN- A shoplifter left a trail of evidence behind.


34-year-old Holly Sansone was approached by police for suspicion of stealing from a Kohl's store Wednesday.

Sansone allegedly shrugged, said "I gotta go," and took off in her car.

Police said Sansone nearly collided with another vehicle head-on, ignored red lights and nearly sideswiped other cars during the chase.

The stolen items included four bras, 14 panties, two candles and air freshener refills--valued in total at $445. Police found several pairs of women's underwear in the vehicle and recovered more panties and a bra from the side of the roadways. [Northwest Indiana Times]

In fairness...bras are REALLY expensive.

Xiamen, China- A woman was diagnosed with a rare medical condition.


The patient went to sleep experiencing nausea and ringing in her ears. When she woke up the next morning, she was shocked to find she was unable to hear her partner talk.

She was rushed to the hospital where a specialist diagnosed her with reverse-slope hearing loss, in which she could only hear high frequencies.

The doctor said factors such as stress and lack of sleep could have been the cause, but the woman is expected to make a full recovery. [Daily Mail]

A woman has a disorder that prevents her from hearing men's voices. It's called MARRIAGE.

Milton, FL- This guy probably needs to go live somewhere else.


30-year-old Bryan Stewart got into a tiff with his neighbor last week. Things got heated and Stewart threatened to, quote, "kill 'em with kindness."

Another neighbor tried to intervene and Stewart attacked him with a machete-like knife--which had the word "kindness" written on it.

The victim sustained a defensive wound to his left hand.

Police had to subdue Stewart with a Taser before being placed in a squad car. He was arrested for aggravated battery and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. [Pensacola News Journal]

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