This seems a little drastic. Couldn't you just DM him on Twitter? This is 'Crappy News' for Friday, January 12th.

Southington, CT- A woman has been charged with breaking into her dead mother’s home...during the funeral.

A lady named Audra Johnson passed away last week; her daughter skipped the funeral and didn't answer calls from family.


Johnson's fiancé came home after the funeral and called police to report his safe had been stolen. Police found 30-year-old Alyce Davenport and her boyfriend, 27-year-old Dion Conyers, at a nearby motel.

Officers searched their car and found legal documents, $5,000 in coins, a bag of knives, and jewelry. A search of the room turned up more jewelry, as well as keys, cellphones, a real estate contract, and other items. Police said they were familiar with Davenport, who is also a suspect in the theft of life insurance checks paid to her brother after their father’s death.

Davenport & Conyers each face seven theft-related charges. [Worcester Telegram]

Something tells me this woman didn't have the best relationship with her mom. Just a hunch.

Apatity, Russia- A guy REALLY wanted booze, and didn't let anything stand in his way.


The man went to liquor store Tuesday morning, but it was closed. So...he stole a TANK from a nearby training facility and drove it through the window of the store.

A video posted on social media showed the man climbing out of the vehicle through its hatch, inspecting the damage, then entering the shop through the broken window. He then stole ... exactly ONE bottle of wine. It's Russia, so I just assumed it would be vodka. [Huffington Post]

This takes "getting tanked" a bit too literally.

Memphis, TN- An aspiring rapper tried to get robbing a restaurant owned by Rick Ross.

Getty Images

Forget about making a mixtape or uploading songs to Soundcloud. This guy had a much more unconventional approach.

Surveillance video showed 23-year-old Cedric Miller holding up a Wing Stop location last Friday. A Wing Stop employee identified Miller on Monday. Miller told cops that he was an aspiring rapper trying to get the attention of hip-hop heavyweight Rick Ross, and believed that stealing from his potential boss was a creative way to get signed. [WREG-TV / The Boombox]

This seems like a really stupid plan, but let's be real. In 2018, anything's possible.

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