Wouldn't it be easier to just...pick it off? This is "Crappy News" for Friday, March 15th.

Middlesex Township, PA- A guy named Sober was anything BUT.

Thinkstock

Police were responding to an unrelated call early Saturday morning when they spotted a suspicious vehicle. Officers followed the car and pulled over 44-year-old Daniel Sober.

Sober was telling police that he had just dropped off his girlfriend when cops noticed the smell of alcohol on his breath.

A breathalyzer test recorded Sober's b.a.c. at .194, almost two-and-a-half times the legal limit.

Sober was charged with careless driving and driving under the influence. [The Smoking Gun]

Port Huron, MI- An errant GPS led to a drug bust.

iStock

Canadian man Christian Xethalis was detained by U.S. Border Protection agents on Wednesday after 4.4 kilograms (roughly 10 pounds) of methamphetamine pills were found inside his car.

Xethalis told authorities he knew he was transporting "something" but wasn't aware it was drugs. K, yeah, uh-huh, sure. Xethalis claims he was also told to pick up two passengers and deliver the "something" from Montreal to Calgary. But during the trip the GPS screwed up and sent them WAY off course. How off course? Xethalis drove about four hours in the opposite direction.

After approaching the border, none of the passengers could provide agents with identification, which led to the search and seizure of the meth.

Xethalis faces charges of possession of a controlled substance with intent to distribute. [CTV News]

Livonia, MI- This woman did NOT have it her way. And she let EVERYBODY know.

Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

In January 34-year-old Porsha Tyler walked into a Burger King restaurant demanding a refund. She claimed the burger she bought the day before had tomatoes on it and she didn't order it that way. She also claimed she had the burger with her.

Seriously? Like, why wouldn't you just bring it back right after you got it?

The cashier offered her other food or a food credit, but Tyler wanted cash. The clerk refused, so Tyler she stood on the counter and threw a cookie rack at the employee. She then chucked a "wet floor" sign at the clerk and tossed food in her face before storming out.

Tyler has been charged with obstruction, malicious damage to property, disorderly conduct and assault and battery. [WXYZ]

I hate tomatoes, too. But not as much as the idea of going to jail.

Follow Slater on FacebookTwitter and Instagram, and listen live @ Q923.net or with the Q92.3 mobile app!